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Monsterbeast

09/20/2010

I’m not sure if this counts even remotely as “art,” but what the hell, I made something new.

About 2 weeks ago, we got a new cat. While perusing the internet for cat-related things, I came across this page on traditional woven cat beds. I love me a craft project, and so set about making my own.

For mine, I used cotton rope, strips of blue fake fur, and rudimentary basket weaving skills I had learned in 3rd grade (I will have you know that the yarn basket I made then totally got put on display in the library. Huzzah).  You can see Kitty in the background, generally not giving a fuck about all the effort I was expending for his benefit.

In fact, he made his opinion of my project quite apparent when I tried to show it to him. Everyone’s a critic.

Here’s the finished product. Of course it couldn’t be a normal basket. It is me, afterall.

The face was made with felt sewn on afterward. I left the top open because Kitty doesn’t seem to like closed-in spaces. Not like it mattered, really. Kitty wasn’t that interested in it since he can sleep anywhere he damn well likes. I think he hurt the basket’s feelings.  OH GOD LOOK OUT KITTY IT’S COMING FOR YOU!

Alas.

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The Tortured Artist

08/22/2010

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My Own Personal Ulysses, by Sharon

I’m going to do my own version of Edward Hopper’s Nighthawks. Yes I will divide the original picture into a grid, and divide the canvas into a grid, and transfer the image onto the canvas. Nothing can go wrong! OMG why does this drawing look so weird? Hm I’m going to keep drawing and it will turn out all right. Wait a minute. How many spaces did I divide the original picture into? 8. How many did I divide the canvas into? 6!! OH HOLY CRAP WHY AM I UNABLE TO DO BASIC MATH I HATE MY LIFE! Ok well I should use this canvas for something anyway. I’ll just start painting whatever and it’ll be ok. Well the messed up diner still looks cool so I’ll keep it in. Hm yes I like the color red. I’ll put some red on it. OMG WHY IS THE RED SO STRONG THERE IS TOO MUCH RED THE ENTIRE PAINTING IS RED THIS IS A DISASTER! I guess I’ll neutralize some of the red and turn the rest into a forest. But it still looks so red and angry. I’m not this angry. I don’t want people to think I’m all emo and tortured because I accidentally used so much red. I’ll put some more green and blue in. There, that looks ok. But what the hell is this gaping black space in the corner? It looks like some swirling maw of hell. Goddammit this painting wants nothing but to be dark and emo. Fuck this I’m going to paint in a pack of corgis. Try and be emo now, motherfucker.

The End.

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Also, I took a picture of the corgis in detail with my cell phone, and the camera was on a weird setting which did this. Enjoy the ghost corgis as they come for your eyes, adorably.

This entire exercise has been an unending series of accidents. Yes, I am a simple beast with simple amusements.

Bloooooooms

06/23/2010

Those flowers are kind of creepy. I bet they turn the hummingbirds into zombies. That would be a weird movie.

Not Cool, Dude

06/22/2010

Poor dragon, just minding his own business chilling around in his rocky lair, when up comes some douchebag with a sword all, “WHAT HO, BEAST OF SATAN!” and stabs the poor bastard.

Life is so unfair.

Reduction

05/29/2010
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In 2004, an Iraqi insurgency group  beheaded foreign hostages and released videos. I don’t recall really why I watched one, but needless to say, it stuck with me. I think his name was Olin Eugene Armstrong.

Click for full version(graphic)

There’s no specific reason for posting this today, but I was looking through the old stuff and it got me thinking what it must be like to be in a situation like that, and what drives people to do these sorts of things. Most of us are very lucky to have not experienced violence in our lives. In many places in the world, including homes and neighborhoods in our own cities, innocent people live in fear of uncontrollable violence. We’re very fortunate to have something as simple as security in our own beds, and I for one certainly forget that.

Well, Memorial Day is coming up, and whether or not I agree with anything that has happened in the past decade, much less in all of human history, I am thankful for the people who sacrifice for something they believe in. There is humanity in war and suffering. No other creature can do to each other what we do, and yet out of those urges that  reduce us to the most base and primitive levels, come unshakable beliefs of things beyond ourselves–of gods, countries, and ideas. Yet, our drive for destruction comes from the same evolutionary or spiritual place of higher processing that creates love and art. We are amazing and stupid.

Transition…Transmission

05/28/2010

I really have no idea what TVC15 is about, but GODDAMN is it an awesome song.

Ahem.

Good news, everyone. Now that you’re reading this in Professor Farnsworth’s voice, here is a collage I did using stickers intended for easily impressed children.

Speaking of motivation, something wonderfun (I meant to type “wonderful” but “wonderfun” is even better) has happened. I had a sketchbook full of finished and half-finished watercolors that I had not been able to find for weeks. I despaired to think that I had accidentally thrown it out in a fit of spring cleaning. But lo! I was going through my many massive stacks of crap recently and there, buried between a pile of stolen printer paper (hell if I’m going to pay when I can get it for free) and old pay stubs, was my beloved sketchbook!

The reason I was sorting crap is because I’m moving house this weekend. So definitely after the move, I will scan in anything worth posting, and most likely take a study/unpacking break to finish a watercolor or two.

YAY!

Only 500 more pages to go

05/24/2010

Well this looks familiar.

“Eyes with wispy mustaches”

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