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The Tortured Artist

08/22/2010

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My Own Personal Ulysses, by Sharon

I’m going to do my own version of Edward Hopper’s Nighthawks. Yes I will divide the original picture into a grid, and divide the canvas into a grid, and transfer the image onto the canvas. Nothing can go wrong! OMG why does this drawing look so weird? Hm I’m going to keep drawing and it will turn out all right. Wait a minute. How many spaces did I divide the original picture into? 8. How many did I divide the canvas into? 6!! OH HOLY CRAP WHY AM I UNABLE TO DO BASIC MATH I HATE MY LIFE! Ok well I should use this canvas for something anyway. I’ll just start painting whatever and it’ll be ok. Well the messed up diner still looks cool so I’ll keep it in. Hm yes I like the color red. I’ll put some red on it. OMG WHY IS THE RED SO STRONG THERE IS TOO MUCH RED THE ENTIRE PAINTING IS RED THIS IS A DISASTER! I guess I’ll neutralize some of the red and turn the rest into a forest. But it still looks so red and angry. I’m not this angry. I don’t want people to think I’m all emo and tortured because I accidentally used so much red. I’ll put some more green and blue in. There, that looks ok. But what the hell is this gaping black space in the corner? It looks like some swirling maw of hell. Goddammit this painting wants nothing but to be dark and emo. Fuck this I’m going to paint in a pack of corgis. Try and be emo now, motherfucker.

The End.

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Also, I took a picture of the corgis in detail with my cell phone, and the camera was on a weird setting which did this. Enjoy the ghost corgis as they come for your eyes, adorably.

This entire exercise has been an unending series of accidents. Yes, I am a simple beast with simple amusements.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. kim permalink
    08/23/2010 12:10 am

    yeah, definitely can’t be emo with a flock of corgis just chillin’ there.

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